Everyone has a wall around them that is sometimes thicker or thinner. When the wall built up of your fears, ego and conditioned behavior is thick, you are wrapped up as a person. It is therefore the art to develop yourself, to unwrap. This makes it much easier for you to connect.
This tip can be found in detail in chapter one of the book The 10 Flirt Commandments. You can order the book elsewhere on this website or read chapter one for free.